Finding Hope in the Sky

Have you ever had a REALLY bad day? I'm not talking about accidentally burning your husband's dinner and the kids driving you crazy...I mean something life-altering crappy...getting possbily life-altering crappy news. Well a couple weeks ago I had one of those days. I was completely stressed out over it but tried not to show that to my husband. Our whole family went over to his parents house to visit and such. Tyler had a meeting after that so he left from there in one of our cars, and I drove home with the kids in the other. On the way home, I felt out-of-it, just exhausted with worry...when I looked up into the sky and saw the sun streaming through the soft, blue clouds, leaving gorgeous streaks of sunlight. I've seen this many times, and it always makes me imagine what it will be like when Christ returns to the Earth for the final time. This time though, the streaks of sunlight through the clouds covered an entire half of the sky. It was amazing. It made me smile the rest of the drive home, and to me, it was a way of the Lord showing me how much he really does care, and how present he actually is in my life. I'd never doubted him, but this little sign gave me the extra comfort I needed at that moment.

Sick Season AGAIN?

Well my little family has been sick on and off over the last 3 weeks!! Mainly colds, coughs, and body aches. BUT, I think everyone is doing better...even Addy has been doing better. Over the weekend I couldn't even put her down, and although normally I can lay her in her crib and she goes right to sleep, I had to rock her all day long. Truthfully it's nice at this stage when she stops squirming long enough for me to really cuddle with her, though. Here are some pictures of her when she fell asleep in her jumper the other day! She's NEVER done this, she normally whines when she's done jumping! I was doing the dishes a few feet away and I realized she wasn't banging her rattle anymore. This is what I found! She's a major thumbsucker when she's tired so of course it's in her mouth. It was too sweet though. She slept for 20 minutes like that (I didn't have the heart to move her...she looked so peaceful) and then she looked at me, grinned, and started jumping again!! What a character!! Unfortunately today I took her to the doc and we figured out why she was so cranky over the weekend...she had an icky throat. So...now she's on antibiotics. It always makes you feel like a SUPER mom when you don't catch those things...but I was giving her infant Tylenol occasionally because I knew she wasn't feeling well so atleast I unknowingly helped ease the throat pain!!

The Circus!

On Saturday I was able to leave Addy with Grandma Caudle, so that Shaylee, Cayden, and I could go to the Circus!!! Tyler was sad to miss it since he's never been to one before...and I only remember going once when I was little...so this was a fun treat! Although once I saw the adult price I probably would have choked on my gum if I'd had any!! Luckily I had free kids passes...but $16.50 for one adult is a little hard to swallow...that could have bought me enough yarn to crochet a blanket!! Haha! Then of course they try to steal the rest of your money with all the things they are selling!! Luckily I fed the kids before we went...so after I bought them Cotton Candy, I told them if we didn't buy anything else, we could get Happy Meals afterwards from McDonalds.

It was a fun circus! Well the first half anyway...after the first hour the kids were ready to go. Shaylee was upset about not getting to ride the ponies or elephant (which I would have loved to let them do but I didn't bring enough cash since my ticket was so spendy...she also had a head-cold though so she just wasn't handling all the excitement very well) and Cayden was running around wild and wanted to go home. BUT...we got to see black bears push strollers around, poodles do the "train" and do balancing tricks, THREE motorcycles rolling around in a really-not-so-big metal cage (shown in one of the photos), girls climbing up ropes and swinging gracely from them (shown in one of the photos), girls climbing up long ribbons and doing all kinds of tricks, a young female contortionist, and then in one of the pics you can barely see a man hanging by his mouth way up high...and the girl carely hooked her feet to his (no ropes, contraptions...NOTHING, just wrapped her feet around his a little) and hung there. CRAZY!!!

Even though I have a pretty decent camera, there was just no way of getting a good photo with all the movement...and we weren't allowed to video tape...but oh well. It would have been fun to stay for the next half of the show, but atleast we had fun while we were there, and hopefully next time we go Tyler can come and the kids will last a little longer!!

The Only Way to Take Sorrow out of Death, is to Take Love out of Life!

The title of this post was something that was put on a display during a church lesson a few weeks ago. I wrote it down as soon as I got out of class (my husband had my pen) so that I could share it. I've never felt like there is anything wrong with never stopping grieving over my dad's death, but if my family members haven't heard this quote I thought it might make them feel good, too.

*

Tonight while I was helping Shaylee with her homework, I decided to put the video Heidi made of pictures of Dad with incredibly inspirational music in the background. Our home is always incredibly peaceful when that DVD is playing. Cayden was paying the most attention. Once I looked over at him just in time to see his arms reaching out from where he was sitting, and then wrapping them around eachother back to his chest. My heart about burst. I asked him if he was giving someone a hug. He got really embarassed but finally said "yes"...he didn't think anyone was watching! Then I asked if he was giving Grandpa McConkie a hug and he said "yes".

*

I can't watch that DVD without crying. I know my dad is in a wonderful place doing important things right now, and over time I talk about him a little less to other people, but my heart will never stop aching to see him again, and I'll never stop wishing he was here to give me one of his big bear hugs, and giving me one of his smiles that always said that no matter how bad life seemed, there was a way to fix it, and that life is wonderful. I'll also never stop hearing him singing in his deep, comforting voice when the hymns are played at church. I remember one of his old, rough brown wool sports jackets rubbing against my arm when I'd sit by him at church. He liked to rub his 5 o'clock shadow facial hair on our face like it was sandpaper!! He always had packs of Breath Savers in his church jacket pockets...I remember they always made me thirsty! If he was the one waking us up in the morning, he'd do it by singing the BYU Fight Song...although he could only ever remember the first couple of lines...so now I do that to my kids... but they only get to hear the first couple of lines too since I don't know the rest!! He LOVED BYU Sports. We went to several basketball games, and I remember going to a football game once with my dad, brother, and Cassidy Baker. David, Cassidy and I painted our faces blue and white. We had seats in the opposing team section which was awkward, but I don't remember that stopping us from cheering as loud as we could. The other team got quite a laugh making fun of our team Spirit when BYU lost the game! I remember my dad cheering so loud in the music room while watching his games that we thought something was wrong!! When he couldn't get a game on tv, he'd go listen to it faithtfully out in his truck in the driveway by himself!! He was a fast skiier. He NEVER fell...until one time I saw him tumble down the hill aways and did the splits in the air!!! I was probably about 10 at the time and I remember thinking "There is no way he's okay after that!?!" I believe his knee had problems after that...and my mom had a bad back that required several surgeries, so eventually they weren't able to ski with us anymore. When we had a problem or had done something wrong...my dad would calmly take us in his office and show us articles that General Authorities had written that applied to the problem...and then have us figure out what we needed to do to make things right. I never saw or heard of him losing his temper or saying a bad word (which was rare for farmers...even LDS ones!!). Getting Diabetes was hard for him....because before he was diagnosed with that, I remember riding out to the farm with him on many occasions and we'd always buy "DOTS" candies...or see how big of an ice cream cone we could make at the CONOCO gas station!! Sometimes he'd buy us Jelly filled doughnuts...Mmmm! In the last couple of years I've heard several very funny stories of my dad getting caught by family friends...eating something he shouldn't have at restaurants, etc. He'd say things like "Don't tell Sharon!!". I laugh everytime I think of him saying that, because all my mom would have done was got frustrated and said "PAUL!!" Well anyway, it wasn't the diabetes that took him...nor any other physical explanation...just that the Lord needed him.

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I'm writing these memories on my blog mainly for journaling purposes since I'm a fast typer so it's easy for me to record things on here. I'm not doing this to keep letting people know what an incredible man he was...although if hearing his stories inspires you, then I'm glad I typed them out for you to read!!! Every now and then I'll include more stories as I remember them. I just have so many little memories that I want to make sure my kids will be able to read or hear about!!

So far...the perfect day!

This morning started off with me waking up at 6 a.m. (that's about an hour and a half early for my usual morning!!) I was the first one up and I got ready for the day. Meanwhile, I heard Shaylee and Cayden wake up...then Tyler woke up to get ready for work. Addy woke up as I was getting everyone's cereal (I had planned on making pancakes but I think it'll take awhile for all of us to get used to eating a big breakfast so early in the morning...none of us were very hungry!!) After breakfast we had "prayer bones" (what my family called it when we got on our knees for a family prayer around the table) The kids said goodbye to daddy, and the other 4 of us started walking to Shaylee's school, which is a few blocks away, for her first day of 2nd grade! I felt really old when I met her teacher. I'm pretty sure she's younger than me. This year Shaylee was nervous...but didn't seem so concerned when it was time for me to go. She already knows a few of the kids in her class, and she's always extremely well-liked by everyone she meets, so I know she'll have a great day. The other three of us walked back home. I asked Cayden what he wanted to do...he said "Turn off the lights, get the blanket, and watch Goonies!!" So...that's what we are doing, only since it's morning and such a beautiful day outside, we kept the lights on and opened up the blinds. Have you ever watched a movie with your parents that you told them was really good...but then while watching it you realize how many inappropriate things are actually in it that you hadn't really noticed before?? Well that's how it is when you have kids...you realize every single bad word, etc. I loved Goonies when I was younger. Now I realize that I can't let me kids watch it without me because I have to skip like the whole first 5 minutes or so of the movie!! I have always been very naive, so I'm sure when I was younger, I had no clue what one of the scenes in this movie was about...even though it was pretty obvious! Well anyway, the point of my post is, it may only be 9 a.m

.... but so far it's been a very peaceful day!!

College, and Hairbows!

*Tyler finally got all set up with school. Tomorrow he and I are going to drive down to Midland to get Tyler's tuition voucher so we can pick up his books at the college. He has registered for classes at Midland College but will be doing all the classes he can online. I missed the deadline to start taking online classes from BYU-I to finish up my Associates Degree there in the fall, but I'm getting everything lined up to start again in January. Science classes with labs are one thing you can't take online so Tyler and I may end up trying to take a science w/lab here at a local college (we have ASU and Howard College here). It's exciting to start getting "edumacated" again :-)

*Also...I know I should probably make a separate blog to share the crafts I've been working on but I don't know if I want to have to remember another blog name and do the upkeep for two blogs. Lately I've been crocheting some cute little newsboy caps for girls, and I've also become a little addicted to making bow and headbands!!!

*If you like the items I make, feel free to check out what I have on ebay. Here's a link that should take you to my items. My names is: togglesandtrinkets

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZtogglesandtrinkets

I usually don't have much on there at a time but right now I have several. I'd also be happy to do some custom orders so let me know if you're interested. The next couple of days I'm going to work on Korker bows and will try to get them on ebay soon. Bows don't seem to sell TOO well on Ebay unless the seller combines shipping (which I do) so I'm thinking about checking out our local boutiques and see if there's a market for these. (Although the thought of keeping up an inventory when I have 3 children makes me a little nervous so IF I do that...I'll definitely EASE into it!!) I don't know...as my family knows, I always tend to have Big Plans that don't always tend to be followed through!!

*3 year-olds are so funny!*

Tonight since Tyler wouldn't be home til a little later because of a church meeting, I let the kids put on a movie in their room to fall asleep to. I go in and check on them, and this is a conversation my son and I had...

Cayden: "Mommy, wait!"
Me: "What's the matter Cayden?"
Cayden: "I have a pwoblem"
Me: "What's the problem?"
Cayden: "I'm, I'm fwustrated" (frustrated)
Me (holding back a laugh): "Why are you frustrated?"
Cayden: " It's just me. I'm fwustrated with ME. My ears go PHEW, PHEW, PHEW, PHEW, PHEW"

He told me this earlier too about the noise he hears in his ears...so although the conversation was really funny watching him concentrate as he thought of what was wrong...on the other hand it worries me that he says he hears this noise in his ears a lot. Tyler doesn't think there is anything they can do at his age to tell if he hears something for sure, but luckily he has his 4 year appointment coming up next month so I can ask the Doc then.